Friday, May 20, 2011

How the Ratings Work

This post will give everyone a good idea about how I will be rating the alcohol I post on this blog.  Note that in general, I will be rating the alcohol in terms of a "casual drinker."  Well what is a casual drinker?  This is your friend or family member who will drink a beer with you during the football game, have a wine with a steak dinner every now and then, or take a shot with you at a big celebration party.  They do not go out to drink every night or weekend and they do not keep an extensive collection of alcohol in their residence or work.  In short, these articles will give you a good description of what you can expect should you choose to be adventurous when you either go out to a party or a nice restaurant.  Lets move on with the descriptions.

Packaging:  This will describe what the container that the alcohol comes in.  Naturally when you walk into a football party, you can always recognize Budweiser, Miller, and Coors because they are some of the most recognizable marketing brands in our culture today.  However, at a party, business meeting, or group-outing you may not recognize that round, potion-shaped, black bottle that someone is drinking out of.  In the end, this section will show you how the product looks (so you can recognize it in the store or restaurant), and whether or not it is something you would want sitting on your shelf.

Eye-Candy:  Similar to the packaging section, this will tell you how the alcohol actually looks like once it is poured into the container of your choice.  Naturally some are drank straight out of the bottle or can in which case I will pour them into a proper mug or cup so you can see what they look like.  Lets be honest, some drinks out there look amazing when they are made.  Especially those fruity ones that the girl you were hitting on last week likes to order.  Whenever you see her at the bar she always orders the same one.  Starting to see the advantages of being able to call your drinks gentlemen?

Take-a-Whiff:  Just as some drinks look amazing, their smell might leave something to be desired.  There are those out there though that smell so amazing it would be a sin not to sit back and enjoy a few inhales before partaking in the delight of sending it down your throat.  A lot of people I have drank with think I am weird for smelling my drinks that I have never tried before; but to me it is no different than smelling that apple pie your grandmother just set on her ledge for you to gawk at for fifteen minutes while it cools.

Tongue-Spasm:  Remember the first time you took a sip of your first frozen margarita with extra lime in it?  Did it make your tongue to a flip in your mouth?  That is what this section describes.  If the drink in question will cause most people to get a kick as soon as it hits the tongue, it will be described in detail here.  One of the biggest mistakes I saw a friend make once was downing a drink quickly because it had no smell and looked clear like water.  His tongue then hung out of his mouth for the next hour.  It is always wise to know what you are getting into.  However, for the more adventurous crowd, some choose to skip knowing this section beforehand for the extra "thrill."

Smooth-Ride:  Drinking some hard liquor?  Feel like a shot of 252?  I hope your throat has some insurance on it because it will be burning for the next twenty minutes.  This section will describe everything from the feel of the alcohol heading down your throat to the final aftertaste of your inebriating-concoction.  In simple terms, this will tell you whether the drink in question will leave you on the floor gasping for air and putting on a hilarious show for all your friends.  Those of you with sensitive throats be sure to read this section first.

Irish Wonda: This will be similar to a Jerry's "final thoughts" or the bottom-line opinion.  I might give some suggestions on how to mix it with other items or show similar brands if the product isn't in your area.  This is a "my" area where I give my personal experience with the drink that you might be able to relate to if you enjoy alcohol like I do.

In the end, when it comes down to the final say, only YOU can decide whether or not you truly like something.  This is why your mother always said "You cant hate something until you try it."  Life is too short to stick your tongue out, or plug your nose at everything that you think might be disgusting.

The reason I learned to love culinary cooking, alcohol, and eating in general is because of that little saying.  So be a little adventurous.  None of these drinks will kill you (in moderation), and whatever doesn't kill you, makes you that much more awesome.  Happy drinking!

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